- (We’re taking a calculus final. The TA is a well-known Lord of the Rings fan, and we’ve had running LotR jokes all semester.)
- TA: “Okay, guys, everyone look at me. We’ve been over the rules, but just in case: no notes, pencil your answers in on the scantron sheet, and graphing calculators only – no more ‘can I just used my cell phone’ nonsense.”
- Student: “[TA's name], my calculator batteries just died! What should I do?”
- TA: “Here, I’ve got a big box of spares.”
- Student: *struggling* “I can’t get this packaging open…”
- Student 2: “Here, I’ve got a pocket knife.”
- TA: “And I’ve got a pair of scissors if you need them.”
- Student 3: *from the back of the room* “OR MY AXE!”
- (Everyone starts laughing.)
- TA: “The only axes allowed on the exam are in the graph section.”
- (Everyone groans.)
- TA: “Oh, come on, you’re in a math class. Deal with the math jokes.”
- (The professor enters with a stack of exams. With him are two exam proctors.)
- Professor: “Tolkien jokes already, [TA's name]?”
- TA: “Hey, I didn’t start it.”
- (The professor starts handing stacks of exams to the TA and proctors.)
- Professor: “But I’m about to finish it. [TA], take these exams down the left flank. [Proctor 1], follow the desks down the center. [Proctor 2], take your exams right, along the wall.”
- (At this point, many of the students have realized where this is going: Theoden’s lines from ‘Return of the King.’)
- Professor: “Forth, and fear no problems! Solve! Solve, students of calculus! Points shall be taken, scores shall be splintered! A pencil day! A red-ink day! Until three thirty!”
- (The professor pulls out a pencil, holding it out like a sword, and runs down the first row holding it out. Students hold up their pencils, hitting his as he passes.)
- Professor: “Solve now! Solve now! Solve to good grades and the class ending! MAAATH!”
- Entire Class: “MAAATH!”
- Professor: “MAAAAATH!”
- Entire Class: “MAAAAAATH!”
- Professor: “Forth, exam-takers!”
- (The entire class rises to their feet and gives him a standing ovation. A week later, we get an email from the professor.)
- Professor: *at the end of the email* “PS: I appreciate all of you who wrote in their evaluations that I was the one professor to rule them all, but the best one yet was the student who called me ‘Mathrandir.’”
(617): quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
(304): STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
- Submitted by pinkrobotgirl.
(Source: theuncannyavenger)
being goth isn’t about the clothes or the music it’s about ravaging the Balkan Peninsula and Anatolia as far as Cyprus, then sacking Athens, Byzantium, and Sparta.
New trick
c???ats?!?!???
cat that is a no
How even do cats work
(Source: infuckingdeed)
Somebody please give the Ember Island Players an Oscar.
(Source: mako)
every medicine on the market is like
pros: you’ll stop coughing
cons: you might die
WHAT!!!!
No
They can leap 36 feet
As in leap forward 36 feet
They don’t jump 36 feet into the fucking sky do you know how terrifying that would be the human race wouldn’t have survived because we’d have all had heart attacks while still in Africa
I just spent two minutes laughing harder at this than I probably should have.
(Source: boypart)
Submitted by madmoll
Pro Tip!
A lot of people have been asking about Maid Marian, so I figured I might as well give her a shot- a bit tougher when you’re looking at clothing on anthropomorphic animals, of course, but there are still a couple of details that point to the 15th century- the cut of the dress, the ears disguised as a horned hennin headdress, the bag sleeves, etc. I still tried to maintain the relatively simple silhouette of Marian’s dress, just with added period details- making it more of a houppelande by design, and resolving the v-shaped neckline to show the kirtle underneath.
Also really wanted to hide some foxglove motifs in the lining of the gown- it’s subtle, but I think it really ties the whole design together.
See the rest of the series HERE
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“His head had been cut off and so had his…you know.”
(Source: timomundson)
if you think your family is dysfunctional remember that zeus got a woman pregnant but she burned to death so he rescued the fetus from her ashes and sewed it into his thigh and gave birth to it himself and that fetus is now the god of wine and sexual deviancy god bless
