the first female chinese immigrant to america was a sixteen-year-old girl who was part of a cultural exhibit where she sat in a life-size diorama and people watched her eat with chopsticks while wearing silk clothes and that’s really all you need to know about the commodification of chinese women
No good deed goes unpunished.
This is me:
I’m the girl who got headbutted. You might recall this incident from a few years back with either a feeling of support and the urge to high-five me, or an intense dislike because I’m mad feminist, hell-bent on making up stories to demonise men. If you are not familiar with the story, I will give you the short version; I saw a man attacking his girlfriend and I stepped in to stop him, resulting in him headbutting me after a lengthly confrontation where he threatened to have me killed. The man was prosecuted. I made a post about it on my personal blog which had about two hundred followers. The post gained a monumental amount of attention, but a couple of months later, someone decided to ‘prove’ that I had made all of it up. I was the centre of an online witch hunt for months. I was threatened, bullied, laughed at and shot down whenever I tried to offer a rebuttal. I wasn’t too bothered, because the man had been sent to prison and I stayed in contact with the young girl who was very grateful that I had stepped in. It didn’t matter to me that a few thousand people thought I had made it up; I knew the truth, the police knew the truth and my friends and family knew the truth. I stopped using my blog and ignored all the mad comments.
But it continued. It snowballed dramatically. Before I go on, I can assure you that this happened. I promise. You can Google my name, Laurie Malyon, and you are one click away from finding numerous articles very clearly stating my attacker’s sentencing.
I’ve put up with comments and threats for almost two years now, and whilst everyone around me tells me to ignore it I can no longer sit back and watch people slander me on the Internet. I realise that I am utterly powerless in changing the opinions of 500, 000 people who are too lazy to spend five seconds doing some research on Google, but I’m going to give it one last go before I stop talking about this godforsaken controversy forever.
I did a good thing. I am proud to say that. I stepped in when many others would not have. It’s very easy to see something like that and pray that someone else stops it so you can remain a bystander, but there was no one else around to stop it when I saw it and I’ll be fucked if I’m ever going to sit by and watch somebody be harmed intentionally at the hands of someone else. I am still in contact with the girl. I see her perhaps once every two months, and she still thanks me every time she sees me. I helped her out of a situation that everyone was too scared to help me out of when I was her age. I stepped the fuck up.
The comments I have received about the situation make me very, very upset. I am a human with real feelings and I can read everything that people write. I’m put to shame on feminism blogs that read the ‘debunking’ post and didn’t think to research it. They say that I’m giving feminism a bad name by lying. They say that I’m an attention whore. They say that I’m an idiot for claiming to have stepped into a domestic situation because that can often make it worse. They ask if I’ve ever even heard of a domestic situation. They tell me I deserve to be in a domestic situation for lying. They say that I’m ugly. They say the amount of makeup I wear in my photos is silly and I look like a slag. Now forgive me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that absolutely negating the entire point of feminism? As a well educated and practising feminist, it is not the comments from men saying that they’ll ‘give me a real black eye’ that upset me, it’s the comments that are hateful and shaming from my fellow sisters.
A lot of people speculate (because I’m a loony feminist) whether or not I’d have stepped in if it were a woman beating a man. Of course I would have. Violence is violence and I completely agree that anyone attacking anyone should be stopped. Twisting it into this and challenging me on it creates even more diversion from the real issue. Why the hell are people trying to pick so many holes in my story? Was it really that difficult to believe that I was a normal girl, on her way to work, who simply stepped in when I saw someone in need? Why have I been questioned and scrutinised for two years? Surely the anger shouldn’t have been directed at me for posting about it, but towards the man who succeeded in assaulting two young women, entirely unprovoked?
I am not taking it any more. I am not remaining silent whilst people call me names and post about how I deserve to die. I am sick to the back teeth of being branded a ‘whore’ by feminists who aren’t really feminists if they’re using a word associated with slut shaming when nothing about my story even mentions anything sexual. I am fed up with being told by men that they’d rape me then give me a black eye with their dicks and how no one would believe me if I tried to get them arrested because I’m that mad man-hating feminist who lied about being headbutted.
I’m trying to undo all the unfair comments with this post. I’m speaking out to the 3.6 million of you who have read about the situation, whether I was portrayed as a do-gooder or a liar. I am asking you to share this so that I can attempt to clear my name. I understand that the post has spread like wildfire throughout the Internet in it’s entirety and that it’s unlikely I will get any kind of redemption from this, but even if this makes 100 people believe me I’ll feel a little happier about the whole situation.
I’d like to thank the masses of you who believed me and who have offered me your kindness and support from the start, and I’d also like to mention that the chap who ‘debunked’ my original post is on my side. He deleted his blog and apologised to me over a year ago. We went out for a burger to talk it over. We cool.
The amount of times I’ve said
"I want the story where this character/these characters are women"
is kind of sad
and also indicative of media in general, I think
mainstream tumblr feminism may have many glaring faults but it has bred an army of teenage girls who understand the common ways that misogyny is reinforced in society and who know that they’re better off loving their fellow woman than fighting with her and that’s actually pretty damn revolutionary
being femme is not about being feminine. it’s about reclaiming what it is to be strong.
people read as feminine have also been condemned as weak, frail, unauthentic, and incapable as long as time is old. being femme, no matter gender identity, is about saying, fuck you, the things that make me feminine also make me strong. my femininity is not fake, contrived, or narrow - it is real and broad and open and empowering.
femme is a lesbian term just fyi (meaning femme lesbian)
i mean i agree but you tagged this with bi tumblr and it’s not an inclusive term it is lesbian exclusive (as is butch, dyke).
nope. sorry, but you are 100% wrong.
bi women have ALWAYS been a part of queer women’s movements and always will be. we have always been a part of forming “lesbian” culture and always will be. and we will always reserve the right to reclaim words like femme, butch, and dyke, because these are also descriptors of our lives and our experiences of queerness.
i am a queer, bisexual femme dyke and no amount of sapphobic, bisexual erasing identity policing can make me otherwise.
no one’s saying bi women aren’t queer women
but we are 100% saying the terms butch and femme (and dyke) arose from the LESBIAN community for LESBIANS exclusively about the LESBIAN experience
u don’t get to rewrite history and appropriate a lesbian term and then call it bisexual erasure ????
Butch and femme emerged in the early twentieth century as a set of sexual and emotional identities among lesbians. To give a general but oversimplified idea of what butch-femme entails, one might say that butches exhibit traditionally “masculine” traits while femmes embody “feminine” ones. Although oral histories have demonstrated that butch-femme couples were seen in America as far back as the turn of the twentieth century, and that they were particularly conspicuous in the 1930s, it is the mid-century working-class and bar culture that most clearly illustrate the archetypal butch-femme dynamic. - GLBTQ
do do do
The contemporary feminist analysis of lesbian identity is an example of just such a tendency. For the past two decades, the dominant form of feminist discourse has, in attempting to “liberate” lesbian identity from patriarchal control, instead imposed its own identity politics on the lesbian community, with the result that those lesbians whose behaviors or “styles” do not conform to the feminist agenda have been doubly-oppressed — once by the dominant patriarchal culture, and again by the movement that claimed to seek the liberation of all women. This is perhaps most obvious in the feminist critique of role playing among lesbians, which is considered by the dominant feminist discourse to be a barrier to one’s “true” identity as a woman (assuming that there is such a thing).
Despite the power and influence of this discourse, however, voices have risen from within a sort of “counter” lesbian-feminist community of scholars who wish to challenge the limiting identity politics of the seventies and early eighties. Before moving into a review of the way these voices address the identity issues surrounding lesbian butch-femme role-playing, however, it would be useful to consider some of the more general attempts at understanding the politics of lesbian identity which have both influenced and been influenced by this more specific issue. source
Because they have rejected sex roles, second-wave lesbian feminists perceive butch/femme roles to be oppressive imitations of heterosexuality. Lesbian feminists of the 1970s and 1980s link butches’ masculine gender expression to patriarchal power and femmes’ feminine presentation to artificiality and frivolity. Such feminists dismiss butch/femme roles as anachronistic, even when the individuals in question report feeling empowered and satisfied with their masculine and/or feminine gender presentations. Defining butches as male-identified imposters and femmes as subordinate throwbacks imposes a singular standard of (white) lesbian authenticity, ignores the rich history of butch/femme resistance, and disregards the ways in which butch and femme women successfully create alternative gender identities that subvert the dominant sex/gender system. Assuming androgyny to be a more radical and empowering gender expression in all cases fails to recognize the multi-faceted identities of femmes of colour, whose specific position within queer and feminist communities invites a racial analysis that exposes issues of authenticity. Far from being passive victims of butch supremacy, femme women of colour challenge, empower, and transform femininity. Whereas heterosexual femininity is associated with artificiality and passivity, femme identity is a unique gender expression that enables self-acceptance and resistance to white, heterosexist, and patriarchal control.
[…] Often, other queers only recognize femmes as lesbians when they are accompanied by a butch partner. Despite femmes of colours’ radical gender expression, queer and feminist communities often value a white, androgynous/masculine aesthetic that does not recognize the multi-faceted and intersecting aspects of femmes’ identities. source
Interviews were conducted with femme-identified lesbians; the focus was upon 4 content areas: identity development, experiences in the lesbian community, heterosexual society, and romantic relationships.
Kurland was a lesbian, but from 1953 to 1970 she was in the closet and married to a man. So calling the bars was her only connection to the gay and lesbian community, said Marie Cartier, who interviewed Kurland and is author of “Baby, You Are My Religion,” a book that examines how gay bars from the 1940s to the mid 1970s were sanctuaries for butch-femme lesbians. [source]
"demonstrating that butch/femme roles were a critical part of lesbian history and sexuality”
Reader’s Guide to Lesbian and Gay Studies
edited by Timothy Murphy [source]
it is almost like it is an explicit fact that butch and femme lesbian identities are lesbian identities which derived from the lesbian community
and claiming otherwise would be erasing…..lesbians…..
Oh my god. This is so…. painfully bad.
Just a tip for any blogger out there: When someone from their community tells you that there is a problem with your community downplaying, ignoring, or erasing their contributions to history, YOU DO NOT GO GET ALL YOUR SOURCES FROM THE COMMUNITY THAT DID THE ERASING TO PROVE THEM WRONG.
All this post proves is that lesbians are REALLY good at erasing the contributions of bisexual people in our shared queer women’s history.
I’m not even going to touch the first bit of “proof” from glbt.org since they don’t use any sources for their articles. But all the rest of these sources about butch/femme are from lesbians aka “the people doing the erasing”. Of course they are not going to give you accurate perspectives on bisexual contributions in history!
It’s like when you have a relative who watches nothing but Fox News and you try to talk to them about something that is happening that Fox News ignores or only covers in their skewed way and they keep insisting they are informed because they watch a lot of Fox News. *facepalm*
So let’s lay down some real knowledge about the history of butch/femme and hell, I’ll even throw in a bit about dyke even though that’s not what this post is about. It gives me a chance to brush the dust off my Bachelor’s degree (History and Women’s Studies major with a minor in LGBT Studies).
The word femme was first used by cross-dressing lesbian Anne Lister to refer to her bisexual lover Marianna Lawton. The word femme has always been for bisexual women because it was first directed towards us. We share it with lesbians because in Lister and Lawton’s time there was not such a clear-cut distinction between lesbians and bisexuals. There was only one group - what is often referred to as Same Gender Loving People. Lesbian, bisexual, and even gay were not separate islands in the queer sea like they are now. Think more like queer Pangea.
At that time, lesbians were not what we think of now — namely that identifying as a lesbian did not preclude sleeping with and having relationships with men. Bisexual was not a commonly used term at the time. It’s use was mostly limited to academia given that it had come from botany though it started to gain ground in psychology circles after 1900. Other terms for queer women like invert, sapphic, homophile, and tribades were thrown around just as easily as lesbian. However lesbian was the one that eventually took off.
But there is a danger of getting too excited about particular words in history — words change their meaning.
The word lesbian itself was originally used as a synonym for tribade or tribadeism, referring to women stimulating other women sexually by scissoring. Lesbianism was something one DID not something one WAS. You could be a lesbian when you were with a girl and straight when you were with a boy — all in the same evening if you liked! Clearly this not how we use the word lesbian in modern times.
Butch came to us much later then femme, in the 1940’s. There were lesbian non-monosexuals in all lesbian communities of the 1940’s when butch was easily paired to femme and took off as identity labels. At that time you could call yourself a butch lesbian and be non-monosexual (ie what we now recognize as bisexual). Again, the word bisexual had not yet come into common use outside of academia so there was no easy way to distinguish between a woman that had relationships with women exclusively and a woman that had relationships with men and women.
Sidenote: If this sounds cissexist, it’s because it is. If there is anyone in the QUILTBAG whose history is more mangled then bisexuals, it’s non-binary people. I have no idea what non-binary people were doing at this time period or how they fit into this puzzle, and if someone does, please let me know. I assume lesbians of this time slept with non-binary people because they were also sleeping with men, but I really have no idea how non-binary culture fit into pre-1960’s queer history.
The word dyke is a lot more ambiguous in it’s origins. No one is really sure where it came from and speculation runs WILD. I’ve seen everything from French pirates to Romans fighting Boadicea. Some say it came from hermaphrodite, a word that in the early 1900’s was used for transgender, intersex, and bisexual people. Yep, you read that right. Dyke might not have had anything to do with lesbians in it’s original term. However it was in the dictionary by the 1940’s so again, it came from a time when lesbian and bisexual communities were merged. And it’s VITAL to note that both dyke and butch were most commonly associated with working-class queer women and queer women of color.
It was not until the 1960’s that the word lesbian began to imply NOT sleeping with men AT ALL, i.e.being exclusively attracted to women. The decision to do so (and to treat bisexual women as not-really-queer) was very much tied up in second-wave-feminism. That history includes gross TERF Shelia Jeffreys’ manifesto which stated bluntly “Our definition of a political lesbian is a woman-identified woman who does not fuck men”. She made clear in 1979 that bisexuals were no-good gross traitors.
By the 80’s there was a firm split between lesbians and bisexuals, and lesbians decided to take all the history and act like bisexuals had never been there at all. It was easy. Everything already said lesbian on it. All they had to do was ignore the real history the words in our shared community and not teach it to younger lesbians about them. Now today bisexuals are constantly excluded from our own history and accused of stealing it by lesbians who frankly don’t know what the hell they are talking about. Hello bi erasure.
So any time you see the word lesbian being used or being applied to queer women before the 1960’s, you need to remember that many of those lesbians were what we would now call bisexuals.
This is why the claim “the terms butch and femme (and dyke) arose from the LESBIAN community for LESBIANS exclusively about the LESBIAN experience” is misleading as hell. Lesbian communities were shared with bisexuals from the very beginning. Our history is shared as Same Gender Loving People.
So it is indeed historically accurate to say, as feminismandflowers did: “bi women have ALWAYS been a part of queer women’s movements and always will be. we have always been a part of forming “lesbian” culture and always will be. and we will always reserve the right to reclaim words like femme, butch, and dyke, because these are also descriptors of our lives and our experiences of queerness.”
Indeed, if a character is not white, some people will cry out that their racial identity is the product of political agenda-driven tampering. If a character is white, the same people will comfortably assume that he or she came out of the box like that.
It should be noted that we’re not even talking about the broad US census category of “white”, which covers people whose families hail from Europe, North Africa or the Middle East — including many people with tan, olive or ruddy skin.
In comics, whiteness is predominantly represented by the pale pink complexions of Northern Europeans — the color once problematically referred to as “Flesh” on Crayola crayons, until Crayola changed it to “Peach” in 1962. Real world white comes in many shades, but in comics all white people seem to trend towards hex color #FFCFAB. (Individual colorists may of course bring more nuance to their work, but how many white superheroes can you name who are consistently portrayed with bronze or olive-toned skin?)
Superhero comics don’t actually favor whiteness; they favor a subset of whiteness that borders on Aryan idealism. We ought to regard that as uncomfortably fetishistic, because it’s an aesthetic that the industry has chosen.
All fiction is manufactured. Authors make their worlds and choose what goes in them. It is always possible to contrive a fictional justification for a character looking whichever way the author wants, up to and including finding a way to make a white person the hero in a story about, say, feudal Japan, or ancient Egypt, or Persia during the Islamic Golden Age. A white hero is not the most likely scenario, but it’s always a possible scenario, so in that way it always becomes justified.
The decision to cast Michael B. Jordan as the Human Torch has been called out by message board posters as evidence of an agenda at work — but white heroes in these non-white settings are rarely called out as similar evidence of an agenda. It’s all artifice, it’s all contrived. Fiction exists in service to an author’s design. All fiction serves an agenda, whether it’s articulated or not. Andrew Wheeler, “Radioactive Blackness And Anglo-Saxon Aliens: Achieving Superhero Diversity Through Race-Changing” (via fyeahlilbit3point0)
so my dad’s friend was bartending and saw a guy put something in a girl’s drink so while the guy turned around he switched their drinks and watched the guy roofie himself.